...transcending polarity

My photo
~ words mean nothing (everything) to me ~


The Beast

You struggle through patrol, head drooping
as you climb the stairs, followed by a sad,
longing look back as your legs give out again,
leaving you to sit on the middle tread and
wait for me to help you inside. The treat I
offer does nothing to hide your shame, yet
minutes later you stand a proud protector
by the front door, ears perking at every noise
and then laying flat as the threat is identified
and dismissed. To you, it’s already another day,
another moment – something to enjoy. But I
am still replaying that last cluster in my head,
the vet call, the new prescription added to the
two you already have, the rescue doses of
Valium that almost killed you and wondering
if it would have been better if it had. You lay
your head in my lap as I write, a privilege that
was never permitted in the days before the beast,
and even though your body is tired, your legs
are sore and your tail can only manage a weak
thump on the sofa as I scratch your ears, your
bright eyes meet mine and I know you still want
to be here, even if only for one more day.





Jackson mocks me as I feed him into the machine.
I remind myself with each tap of the button that
I sold myself for this pleasure and the thrill intensifies.
I get nothing in return and that – that drives
me to give more. I am left alone with lighter pockets;
I am empty and I need to be filled back up.

A quick stop for a shot of sour mash, two more,
and then I am on my way.

I find him at the final table again, coveting
his neighbor’s chips and making small talk.
He is already a winner and his easy smile makes
them squirm in their seats; I have been there,
I want to be there, I will be there soon –
it is a challenge I know I will win, one way or another.

The more they lose, the more they are willing to give;
they don’t know how to play the game.

Our eyes meet for one brief second and the main event begins.





He entered the room on silent soles
and left a single yellow rose on her pillow.
Her tired grey eyes filled with azure
and her battle-worn soul tugged away
from her withered body in a single gasp.
Then there was peace.
Then there was nothing.



~ in transit ~