...transcending polarity

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~ words mean nothing (everything) to me ~


year in review - oh yeah, another one


according to those who buy into the hype, this year heralds the end of mankind. honestly, i don't think we will all be so lucky. and if we are, well, good for us and good for the world. i say that with a bit of sarcasm, and maybe, too, a bit of seriousness. i am not sure that humans are or should be the ruling species on this planet. but that's a topic for another day.

i don't believe this year is the last year for human beings to grace the landscape of this fine planet, although i do admit that i hope there is some kind of revolution on the forefront - maybe an evolution of thought, one that throws off the chains of materialism and seeks to live life on a higher plane, a kind of renaissance of thought and a more compassionate and caring worldview in general. crazy talk, i know.

so what was 2011? a lot of introspection on my part. that, and overcoming fear. fear of what, exactly, i can't say. it's the kind of fear you just feel and you really can't name. and then anger. anger at what i see every single day around me. i could sit and stew and hate the world - and i admit there is a certain level of self-satisfaction in that - or i could just do what i want to do and live my life. i chose life. shrinking middle-class hell be damned.

2011 brought a few new family members as well. two ferrets, Titus and Mambo, and an iguana i call O'Ren Ishii. Titus was a baby when we picked him up and he's already larger than any adult male ferret we've ever had. Mambo is a rescue, a true albino, and loves to kiss and snuggle in hoodies. and Ishii is also a rescue - she's missing a small part of her tail and a front toe and has burn marks on her from previous owner neglect, but she's growing now and loves to hang out and be held, which i admit is pretty unusual for an iguana. we're designing her a permanent enclosure this year, one that will house her at full adult size which we estimate will be about 4 feet long and maybe 13-15 pounds.

unfortunately, we lost Mr. Hobbes, our longest living ferret to date. he was 9 years old (most ferrets live 6-8 years) and very attached to Miss Pippa. in fact, for 2 weeks after Hobbes died, Pippa had to be hand fed because she refused to eat or drink and almost died as well. that was hard. shortly after that, we rescued a ferret i named Veruca Salt from the local shelter and she made it 3 days before her heart gave out - she had been left in a carrier without food and water for at least 4 days and broke her teeth trying to chew her way out. her final days were full of warm food, Pedialyte and lots of lap time and pets. we really thought she was going to make it since on the second day she got up and went and found Craig to be held, but i think the damage was already done and her heart just couldn't take the shock she had suffered. ever since then, we have been on the list of ferret foster homes for SpokAnimal and will continue to care for ferrets in need, free of charge. a definite positive in our lives and something we know is necessary since so few people understand the needs of ferrets.

and what else? Craig has had a few jobs, most importantly my Mom and Dad's kitchen. we are still constructing his website and he's been doing a little work with his previous employer. all good news. he has also been playing a little poker off and on and winning a little there, too. he has even mentioned maybe trying to be a gaming dealer part-time until his business takes off, or maybe even going back to school to get a BA. it's up to him, and i want him to do what he wants to do, so whenever and whatever he decides...maybe a full update on all that mid-year or by 2013, assuming, of course, that the Mayans are wrong, heh.

as for me, it's a return to school for an MA in Communications. it has taken me over 2 years to decide and it wasn't without some truly agonizing nights of what ifs and whys. the money involved also terrified me, especially with only one consistent income right now. but, i feel it and i have to jump. i have to. i've been saying it for almost 2 years and it's time. why? because if i keep waiting, there will NEVER be a perfect time to do it. if i keep waiting, i just get older and more jaded. if i keep waiting, nothing changes - change has to start with me and it's time. period. i can choose to work to live and i am. living to work is not my thing and it never will be. i live to create. why fight it? eventually i see myself with a PhD teaching at university and having the time not only to create, but to help others create as well. and maybe then i will also have the time/knowledge/connections to work on starting a rescue and fostering a couple of children as well. goals that make me happy to think about and are good for the world. we'll see.

so that's where we sit now on the first day of 2012. hopefully get my official acceptance to GU in a week or so, start classes on the 18th and then 2012 will be a whirlwind of work and school and i am truly looking forward to it. a good year for change.


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~ in transit ~